My Time Meltdown

My time-related mental meltdown started on Wednesday evening when I was waiting in one of the tiny massage therapy rooms at Advantage Health and Wellness. The room I was in was small and didn’t have a window. Instead, a big clock was hanging on the wall in my direct view. The office usually always has ambient music playing (think summer sounds and chimes), but for about 30 seconds, the music had stopped. Now, 30 seconds feels like nothing in a work day, but 30 seconds alone, in a tiny room, with only the sound of the ticking clock, can feel like forever.

I was staring at the clock, waiting for the music to return, when thoughts of how quickly time disappears started to creep into my head. I kept thinking about how we never get time back and how, no matter how much I wanted, I couldn’t stop that skinny, little hand on the clock from moving forward. Before I knew it, I was in full-blown panic mode. Suddenly I saw my life flashing before my eyes. My inner monologue started spinning out of control.

“I’m 23. I thought I was just 16. What happened? I’m done with college? I have a real job? Oh my God, I will never again be able to eat Poptarts for breakfast every morning.”

As I shifted into meltdown mode, my massage therapist walked in, jolting me back to reality. However, 30 minutes later, although with relaxed muscles, I left with the thoughts of that clock creeping back into my head.

To further confirm my hysteria, this morning I ran across a story on NASA’s homepage that I was surprised I had missed. On Wednesday, NASA published news of the discovery of a rare galaxy dating back 750 million years after the Big Bang created our universe. Bizarro coincidence that I was having these terrifying thoughts the same day this was published.

The discovery of the galaxy (now referred to as GN-108036) was made with the help of NASA’s Spitzer and Hubble space telescopes. GN-108036 is the brightest galaxy found to date and is 12.9 billion light years away.

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“Data from Spitzer and Hubble were used to measure the galaxy’s high star production rate, equivalent to about 100 suns per year. For reference, our Milky Way galaxy is about five times larger and 100 times more massive than GN-108036, but makes roughly 30 times fewer stars per year.”

We just keep moving further away from the beginning of it all, just like we move further away from our own beginnings. We can’t go back and we can’t change things. This is a nightmare for a type-A personality! So what can I do? Well, nothing. Ok, so maybe not nothing, but I certainly have realized that time is what I make it. I can’t stop it and I can’t change time I’ve already spent. I have to start utilizing the time I have, rather than worry about the time I don’t. I guess I’ll just chalk this up to a Cat Hair in my Coffee moment. Life happens and sometimes you just end up with a whisker in your cup.

My Healthy Tip of the Day: Worry less.

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